Miss Manners' guide to domestic tranquility

It's not a farce, this is a genuine etiquette guide to life in the messy lane, but it's easily one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. That's not to say that Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners) is ridiculous, or that her advice is unnecessary - quite the contrary.

With the messy relationships and intertwined families prevalent in our society, it takes a lot of wisdom, humour, and backbone to maneuver through many social situations. Knowing that Miss Manners has deemed your actions "proper" certainly helps in the "backbone" department. The situations described are appropriately convoluted for our culture and the solutions proposed are both proper and satisfying. Allow me to summarize a favourite example:

An engaged couple wants to include a family member at the wedding but doesn't want anything to do with that person's boorish, offensive, and still-married-to-someone-else long-time companion. The question is, can that be accomplished without being rude?

"Certainly," replies Miss Manners. There are two rules at the bride's disposal: the first is that established couples are customarily invited together to formal events such as weddings; and the second is that whether or not one likes the spouse, it is considered obligatory to invite married couples together to weddings. Therefore, when inviting the family member in question, the bride should state that while she would like to invite the companion, she wouldn't dream of doing so without inviting his wife.

I can see a full season sit-com based on this book, and the advice is useful to have tucked in your back pocket.

Miss Manners' guide to domestic tranquility the authoritative manual for every civilized household, however harried by Judith Martin. Published in 1999 by Crown. ISBN: 978-0517701652