It's not a farce, this is a genuine etiquette guide to life in the messy lane, but it's easily one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. That's not to say that Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners) is ridiculous, or that her advice is unnecessary - quite the contrary.
With the messy relationships and intertwined families prevalent in our society, it takes a lot of wisdom, humour, and backbone to maneuver through many social situations. Knowing that Miss Manners has deemed your actions "proper" certainly helps in the "backbone" department. The situations described are appropriately convoluted for our culture and the solutions proposed are both proper and satisfying. Allow me to summarize a favourite example:
An engaged couple wants to include a family member at the wedding but doesn't want anything to do with that person's boorish, offensive, and still-married-to-someone-else long-time companion. The question is, can that be accomplished without being rude?
"Certainly," replies Miss Manners. There are two rules at the bride's disposal: the first is that established couples are customarily invited together to formal events such as weddings; and the second is that whether or not one likes the spouse, it is considered obligatory to invite married couples together to weddings. Therefore, when inviting the family member in question, the bride should state that while she would like to invite the companion, she wouldn't dream of doing so without inviting his wife.
I can see a full season sit-com based on this book, and the advice is useful to have tucked in your back pocket.
Miss Manners' guide to domestic tranquility the authoritative manual for every civilized household, however harried by Judith Martin. Published in 1999 by Crown. ISBN: 978-0517701652
Showing posts with label Martin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Martin. Show all posts
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Friday, November 7, 2008
Where the river ends
Most of the people who like stories centered around people rather than events or action are women. Even among biography readers, men tend to gravitate towards the events and accomplishments while women tend to focus on feelings and character development. That makes Charles Martin, author of Where the river ends, an anomaly.
Where the river ends is Martin's sixth book and all six books detail the inner struggles of a (usually male) protagonist as he comes to terms with difficulties in his life. The difficulties are usually major losses and the protagonist emerges battle-scarred and weary, yet stronger for the fight. I'd like to think that Martin is providing his largely female audience with a sneak peak/inside view of the average man. Granted, that average man looks like a hero by the end of the book, but Martin's underlying message is that, given the do or die options, any man would do the same. Any man could be a hero.
In Where the river ends, Doss Michaels, takes his wife for a promised canoe ride, from start to ocean, down the Moniac River in southeastern USA. The ride is complicated by the fact that Doss' wife, Abigail, has advanced terminal cancer and a powerful and possessive father who would rather see his daughter "safe" in a hospital bed. Doss has essentially kidnapped his wife from the hospital and stolen enough narcotics to keep her comfortable so Abigail can complete her own "bucket list." Backwoods muggers, state troopers, and an impending tropical storm all wreak havoc on the journey.
Following a brief prologue, the story starts with the departure for the canoe trip. But it's not long before you're carried into the past as memories of how they met, and how they ended up together are interspersed with narrative of the trip. It's a journey within a journey as the past explains the present and pushes inevitably into the future.
We see Doss reap what he sowed in his youth - he didn't have an easy life and he certainly got into trouble, but he built strong relationships, garnered respect, and developed a solid work ethic, so people were and are there for him when he needs them most.
What I like most about Charles Martin's writing is that, when his stories end, the trials aren't over. These aren't neat little episodes tied up in happily-ever-after packages. You know there was stuff that happened before the book and more stuff to happen afterwards. It leaves me feeling like the character is more alive and real than many other storybook characters are. However, as a reader you are left satisfied that the story has been told. I hate cliff-hanger/soap opera books where the reader is left on a hook until the next book comes out. When I finish a book, I want to be at the end of the story, not in its middle. The character may live on for more stories (we all have many stories in us), but I want each story to end when the book is done, not just stop.
Although I love his books, I have to be in the right mood to read something by Charles Martin. He doesn't write easy-read stories. He takes his readers through strongly emotional journeys. They aren't always heavy or negative, but they are emotional. Pick your time wisely, and have something light to read as a chaser, but do give him a try.
Where the river ends by Charles Martin. Published by Broadway Books in New York, c 2008. ISBN 987-0-7679-2698-0.
Where the river ends is Martin's sixth book and all six books detail the inner struggles of a (usually male) protagonist as he comes to terms with difficulties in his life. The difficulties are usually major losses and the protagonist emerges battle-scarred and weary, yet stronger for the fight. I'd like to think that Martin is providing his largely female audience with a sneak peak/inside view of the average man. Granted, that average man looks like a hero by the end of the book, but Martin's underlying message is that, given the do or die options, any man would do the same. Any man could be a hero.
In Where the river ends, Doss Michaels, takes his wife for a promised canoe ride, from start to ocean, down the Moniac River in southeastern USA. The ride is complicated by the fact that Doss' wife, Abigail, has advanced terminal cancer and a powerful and possessive father who would rather see his daughter "safe" in a hospital bed. Doss has essentially kidnapped his wife from the hospital and stolen enough narcotics to keep her comfortable so Abigail can complete her own "bucket list." Backwoods muggers, state troopers, and an impending tropical storm all wreak havoc on the journey.
Following a brief prologue, the story starts with the departure for the canoe trip. But it's not long before you're carried into the past as memories of how they met, and how they ended up together are interspersed with narrative of the trip. It's a journey within a journey as the past explains the present and pushes inevitably into the future.
We see Doss reap what he sowed in his youth - he didn't have an easy life and he certainly got into trouble, but he built strong relationships, garnered respect, and developed a solid work ethic, so people were and are there for him when he needs them most.
What I like most about Charles Martin's writing is that, when his stories end, the trials aren't over. These aren't neat little episodes tied up in happily-ever-after packages. You know there was stuff that happened before the book and more stuff to happen afterwards. It leaves me feeling like the character is more alive and real than many other storybook characters are. However, as a reader you are left satisfied that the story has been told. I hate cliff-hanger/soap opera books where the reader is left on a hook until the next book comes out. When I finish a book, I want to be at the end of the story, not in its middle. The character may live on for more stories (we all have many stories in us), but I want each story to end when the book is done, not just stop.
Although I love his books, I have to be in the right mood to read something by Charles Martin. He doesn't write easy-read stories. He takes his readers through strongly emotional journeys. They aren't always heavy or negative, but they are emotional. Pick your time wisely, and have something light to read as a chaser, but do give him a try.
Where the river ends by Charles Martin. Published by Broadway Books in New York, c 2008. ISBN 987-0-7679-2698-0.
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